When to Go to a Therapist for Relationship Troubles

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When to Go To A Therapist
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**When to Go to a Therapist for Relationship Troubles
**

You don't need to wait for a crisis to seek help. In fact, early intervention often leads to better outcomes. Consider going to a relationship counselor when:

1. Communication is Breaking Down

  • Constant misunderstandings
  • Frequent arguments over small issues
  • Feeling unheard or dismissed

2. Trust Has Been Damaged

  • Infidelity or emotional affairs
  • Secrets, lies, or hidden behaviors
  • Jealousy or control issues

3. Emotional Disconnection

  • Feeling more like roommates than partners
  • Lack of affection or intimacy
  • Growing apart emotionally

4. Recurring Conflicts That Don’t Resolve

  • Same fights over money, parenting, or in-laws
  • Power struggles
  • Silent treatment or passive-aggressive behavior

5. Major Life Changes Are Occurring

  • New baby, job loss, relocation, illness, etc.
  • One partner is overwhelmed and the other feels left behind
  • Roles and responsibilities are shifting

6. Considering Separation or Divorce

  • Thinking about ending the relationship
  • Wanting to “try everything” before walking away
  • Need help making a clear, respectful decision

7. One or Both Partners Feel Unhappy

  • Even if there’s no “big problem,” dissatisfaction or loneliness can be a sign
  • Seeking help to rekindle closeness or find clarity

What Kind of Therapist Is Best?

Different professionals are trained in different ways, so here’s a breakdown of the most common options:

1. Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT or MFT)

  • Best for: Relationship and family issues specifically
  • Training: Master’s degree in marriage and family therapy
  • Focus: Patterns in relationships, communication, emotional connection, conflict resolution
  • Why choose them: They specialize in relational dynamics and often use evidence-based modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) or Gottman Method.

2. Psychologist (Ph.D. or Psy.D.)

  • Best for: Deeper emotional or psychological issues, or if one/both partners also have mental health diagnoses
  • Training: Doctoral degree in psychology
  • Focus: Mental health and behavioral patterns; may use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic approaches, etc.
  • Why choose them: Great for couples where anxiety, depression, trauma, or personality disorders are also present.

3. Psychiatrist (M.D. or D.O.)

  • Best for: Medication management or cases involving serious mental illness
  • Training: Medical degree with specialization in psychiatry
  • Focus: Biological and neurological factors in behavior; typically doesn’t do talk therapy
  • Why choose them: If medication might help (e.g., for depression, bipolar disorder) alongside therapy with another provider

4. Clinical Social Worker (LCSW)

  • Best for: General relationship issues, emotional support, and practical solutions
  • Training: Master’s in social work
  • Focus: Emotional well-being, environment, and relational dynamics
  • Why choose them: Can be very skilled in relationship work, especially if they’ve had training in couples therapy

5. Minister, or Religious Counselor

  • Best for: Couples with shared religious values looking for faith-based guidance
  • Training: Varies—may not be clinically trained unless they also hold a counseling license
  • Focus: Moral, spiritual, and biblical perspectives on relationships
  • Why choose them: If your faith tradition is central to your life and you want support aligned with those beliefs

Which to Choose?

Here’s a guide based on your needs:

Need

Best Professional

Communication or conflict issues

LMFT, LCSW, Psychologist

Trauma or mental illness involved

Psychologist, Psychiatrist + Therapist combo

Wanting religious or spiritual guidance

Minister, Pastoral Counselor

Medication or severe mental health concern

Psychiatrist + Talk Therapist

Preventive support or early issues

LMFT, LCSW

Long-standing relationship dysfunction

LMFT, Psychologist

Tips for Choosing the Right Therapist

  • Check credentials: Make sure they’re licensed and trained in couples work.
  • Ask about approach: Some therapists use structured methods (e.g., Gottman, EFT), which can be very effective.
  • Comfort and fit matter: The best therapist is someone you and your partner both feel safe with.
  • Shop around: It’s okay to meet a couple of therapists before choosing one.

One Last Thought

Take your HRQ score and profile and the articles for improvement to your therapist. It will speed things up and help the therapist focus on what is important right away…